Full disclosure, that Dr. Belle Liang and Tim Klein are working in a year-long consulting role at our school, and that is why I picked up this book – and I am so glad that I did. Not only am I excited about the work that we will be doing with them this coming academic year, but also for the research and language that this book gives to many of the challenges and approaches to supporting our students and our own children, in finding their way in school, careers and beyond.

The magic of this book is in the interweaving of Neuroscience and Storytelling. They make the science accessible, and really use that to focus on the ‘why’ of their recommended approached. They provide some great action plans, language and guides to support educators and parents alike.

You would be interested in this book if you…

(1) Wanted to learn more about a “Purpose” mindset, juxtaposed against Passion and Performance mindsets
(2) Wanted to deepen your mentorship approach to working with students
(3) Were interested in the intersection of Purpose and EDI+B
(4) Wanted to have conversations that Matter and Meaning
(5) Were interested in Ecosystem thinking

Purpose Mindset:

The first part of this book draws out 3 different mindsets that seem to dominate our culture. The first is the Performance Mindset, which sees the world as a zero-sum game and where the ends justify the means. It is associated with language like “winning”, and “snow-plow” parents who go to great lengths to ensure their children get the best advantages. It is about being the best version of yourself, but measured by external benchmarks.

The second is the Passion Mindset, which is the pursuit of happiness. “A happiness focus creates a visiou feeback look; the more we want to be happy, the sadder we feel when we aren’t.” (pg. 34)  But the outcomes of the Passion mindset are the same as the Performance mindset: “Both lead to waht we most fear — poor performance and poor mental health.” (35) The authors cite the “College Blues” case as a great example of what the performance mindset leads to, and they call upon their own lived experiences to demonstrate the darker-side of the passion mindset.

The Purpose mindset is the perfect balance between them. I’ts about pursuing goals that are of consequence in the workd (satifying the need for outward success) and personally meaningful (satisfying inward well-being). It’s a mindset that good for the world and for the soul. (pg. 36)

This is further strengthened by the authors presenting different ways to conceptualize this through their chapter on “Games”. It reminds me a lot of Simon Sinek’s “The Infinite Game” which I reviewed back in February of 2020. It is here where they draw out the stresses of high school life, as well as how structures and systems influence not only the rules of the game, but who are the players.

Structural inequities on the basis of skin color, gender or other demographic characteristics are the results of unfair rules of a fixed game” (Pg. 53)

They introduce the concept of “Growth Games” that “…aren’t about winning by beating others; they are about a sense of mastery, competence, fulfilling one’s purpose and most importantly contributing to needs in the world, rather than just serving oneself. ” (pg. 55) In this chapter, and throughout, they advocate for a shift to a purpose mindset as a radical paradigm shift away from what we are inundated with from social media, television and culture. They do this effectively, calling in the expertise of John Wooden, and his famous pyramid of success, Rosa Parks and MLK Jr. as leaders of the civil rights movement and their desired outcomes, Oprah Winfrey, and others that have redefined the game that they were playing despite the context of a fixed and closed game. Really powerful!

What about the Tech?

Drawing upon the theory of “Creative Destruction” – that economic innovation will destroy old ways of working and replace them with new, more efficient ways of working, the authors introduce the thorny topic of technology in our education, economic, and social lives. They lead with the provocative question:

“How many of the tasks that are rewqarded in a school rely on compliance, rote memoprization, and recall — routine skills that can be performed by the devices in students’ pockets? Would an alien think [schools] were designing robots, or preparing students for the future?” (pg. 69)

This brings to mind the book that I reviewed many years back called “Range” by David Epstein. In it, he makes an arguement for The Generalist. This book is offering the same endorsement. To be “future-ready” schools need to nurture Universal Human Skills, which are broad, appreciate over time and leverages technology. (pg. 74) As Ethan Mollick, in his book ‘Co-Intelligence” posits: you won’t be replaced by AI, you’ll be replaced by someone using AI very effectively. 

Universal Human Skills are: Critical Thinking, Collaboration, Accountability, Ingenuity, Cross-Cultural Skills, Technology Skills, Initiative and Self-Direction, Social Skills, Productivity, Communication Literacy, Flexibility & Adaptability, and Responsibility. I would also add, Integrity. Because the default of Generative AI is to make the user happy with the responses, Humans can be more discerning and challenging to others to ensure ethical actions.

And then there’s the power of a liberal arts education…teach[ing] people how to learn. In the future of work, a professional’s value will rest not on a specific skill, but on the ability to acquire any skill.” (pg. 84)

Purpose and Privilege: The Role of Mentors

The Purpose Mindset is the anchor of this book, and Belle and Tim are very adept at centring this mindset throughout. Because of my own context, I was very attuned to how privilege would come up throughout. The book spends time on what many of us are already aware of: that adversity leads to growth, and the role of the educator / parent in supporting those through times of challenge. They spend time on “Post Traumatic Growth” and the well-being benefits of community engagement through what is traditionally called service.

Many of students attending Independent Schools have all of the creature comforts, so where does privilege intersect with Post-Traumatic Growth, and a purpose mindset. The research shows that, “Those without trauma can grapple with suffering in the world as well if they have other motivations for doing so, such as an awareness of suffering and healthy empathy.” (pg. 126)

To promote a Purpose Mindset, Belle and Tim offer a series of questions and prompts to examine one’s life in an asset-based approach. Through these prompts, we can lead our students to understand:

• Privilege isn’t a reason for guilt. It’s an opportunity for meeting needs with the advantages we’ve been given.
• Privilege is easy for us to deny because it is often invisible — taking the form of an absence of economic insecurity, racial profiling, or stereotyping by others. Only honest reflection can reveal these often invisible truths.
• Acknowledging our advantages means we can leverage them to help others who don’t benefit from them.
• Practicing gratitude for our priviliges is a strong impetus for giving back.
• When we understand our advantages and our adversity, we better understand the needs we’re driven to meet in the world.

A purpose mindset is ignited through conversations with mentors that raise self-awareness and awareness of others. It is mentors who inspire students by exposing them to various and different lived experiences, in ways that what drive them intersect with the needs of the world. Deliberate Rumination is intentional and reflective thought in active contemplation of how the world works and one’s place within it. Again, great support for educators and parents in a question guide and different ways to approach this with young adults.

At the crux of these are ‘moments that matter’. An entire chapter is dedicated to understanding that we don’t give our students purpose; nor do we tell them what their purpose is. As educators and parents we inspire their curiousity and give them space to explore. Question crafting and delivery is an art of timing, tone and trust. (pg. 158) Moments that matter are crafted over long periods of time, building psychological safety (See my book review of Amy Edmondson’s work), setting high expectations, holding students to account, and affirming who they are. (pg. 165)

Belle and Tim then provide an excellent look into what Mentoring  is and what it looks, sounds and feels like at its best. Again, they provide the scaffolding and resources to help the reader adopt sound approaches. For example, “Challenging students is about pusing them to spursue soemthing that you know they are capable of but that don’t think they are.” (pg. 168) This is an example of a simple reframing that this book is full of that is really helpful for educators and parents alike.

Setting Sail for Beyond:

The final piece of this book focuses broadly on education and the future of work. Belle and Tim build on the idea of a “generalist” approach and encourage readers to support students in getting the right people on their boat to set sail to their future. They describe and advocate for young people to welcome aboard people that play the role of “Anchor” – those that you can call at 4AM and they will pick up. They will hold you to your own North Star as you navigate troubled-waters; also, welcome aboard “Guides” – those that will offer advice and questions that can move us forward and can help us strategize; finally, make room for “Bridges”, those that can broaden our networks through introductions to others and through new experiences. (pg. 234)

As you can expect, the authors provide not only examples, but a guide to how to recognize and engage with each of these personas. It is these people that, if sustained, will support you in changing the game you are playing (the infinite game), who you are playing if for (yourself AND the greater good for all), and how you play (with purpose and fulfillment). They refer to this as ecosystem thinking:

Maybe we remain working in [performance & passion mindset organizations or social circles] but initiate small decisions that begin to shift culture there, and maybe we hatch new systems altogether. Indeed, it’s possible to create ecosystems: groups of people who work together toward a shared purpose.” (pg. 258)

In an Ecosystem framework or organization, the foundational beliefs are to (1) work towards being your best self: fulfilled and doing what you feel called to do; (2) knowing you are enough: not comparing yourself to others for your self-worth; and, (3) that everyone can win: acting out of a sense of abundance and gratitude. (pg. 258)

I really enjoyed the way this book took Neuroscience, Story-telling and some of the most compelling challenges that we face with our youth today, and made a very effective guide. It is full of key questions, approaches and strategies that you will find useful – some you may already use, and this book can deepen your ‘why’ of how they work.