I was burnt out last spring. No matter what I did, work followed me everywhere I went and was always on my mind. I couldn’t escape it. I knew what I should’ve been doing instead (self-care, unplug, reach out to a colleague, etc.), I know I should’ve been exercising (I may catch some heat for this with the Cohort 21 facilitators and coaches, but I really don’t enjoy running or cycling… there, I said it, I can’t take it back now), but there was work that needed to be done, and I prioritized productivity over my self-care and leisure. My balance was WAY OFF! I know I’m not alone.
Then I had a great summer and didn’t do any work until late August. I told myself the 2020-21 school year would be different, that there was no way I could make it through a full year working at last spring’s pace. Spoiler alert – I failed! (until recently, that is, stay tuned!). I’ve been working at almost 100% capacity every minute I’m at work. I avoid starting conversations with colleagues because I don’t have the time. I eat lunch alone in my room so I can get more work done. I can’t stop checking my work email several times every night. Again, I know I shouldn’t do this, I know it’s not what’s best for my well-being, but here we are. And in this regard, I’m sure I’m not the only person going through this. Again, I’ve been prioritizing my productivity over my self-care and leisure. Don’t get me wrong; of course, productivity is important for all of us, but the unattainable levels I’ve been striving for have caused me to lose the joy I normally find in my work and daily life.
So why am I writing this? Because something happened to me a few weeks ago. I fell in love with disc golf!
For those who haven’t heard of disc golf, it’s very similar to golf, except instead of trying to get a ball in a hole, you’re trying to get your disc into the basket (pictured above) in as few throws as possible.
Ever since I was a kid, I have loved throwing frisbees, and I have enjoyed playing golf. Now I get the best of both worlds, along with self-motived competition, fresh air, exercise, comradery (I usually play with my brother and/or a friend of mine), and an overall excitement driven by looking forward to the next disc golf game and what shots I might try (shameless plug – I missed a hole-in-one last week by inches!).
During the last few weeks, I have had a much better work/life balance, thanks in part to my new found passion. I won’t bore you by going on and on about everything I’ve learned about the sport so far (admittedly, I’m DEEP down the rabbit hole!), but I will say that because I’ve had something else to focus my attention on, I’ve barely thought about work during my evenings and weekends recently. I’ve felt more positive, in general. I’ve been eating lunch with a colleague instead of by myself (he’s buying a disc golf starter set now after I talked his ear off about it last week!), and I’ve been trying to make time to chat more with my friends and colleagues.
This all happened completely by accident, but I couldn’t be happier that it did. If my story sounds familiar, I hope you will also look for something to take your laser-focus off of work, and when you do find it, sink your teeth in HARD! Maybe for you, it is running or biking. Maybe it’s knitting, or learning magic, or learning to play the guitar. Or maybe it’s playing a silly sport like disc golf.
Take care of yourself, everyone.
(image #1 courtesy of: https://www.wesa.fm/post/massive-new-disc-golf-course-cranberry-reflects-booming-sport#stream/0)
(image #2 courtesy of: https://discgolf.ultiworld.com/2020/04/08/dont-go-pro-moneyand-thoughts-u-s-champ-kristin-tattar/)
Hi Mike, thank you so much for posting this! I needed to read it! I think you are right it’s so easy to hyperfocus on work and deplete yourself. I’m so glad you found something so fun that fills your bucket!
Thanks for sharing this, Mike! It’s so hard when you feel like if you don’t do the work in the evenings/weekends, it’s just you who suffers by feeling like a failure when you get to class. Can self-care ever look like always having to do the best possible job at work, I wonder? I’m so glad to hear that you’ve found something to take your mind away from the stress of school, though.
Jen
Thanks @jweening. That’s a tough one. You’re describing productivity leading to self-care. I definitely think we all do this at times, but should we “always” be doing this? I’m not sure.
I keep coming back to a favourite quote of @gnichols, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good” (or something like that). Should we always try to do the best possible job each time, of course. But if perfection becomes the minimum expectation, is that sustainable?
Hope all is well!
Mike, this was an open and honest post, thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I suspect that, once this school year is over, we will hear more stories such as these ones where teachers more so than ever are ‘burning the candle at both ends’. I hope your message inspires others to take a small break from the chaos and immerse themselves in something that invigorates them, just as you have.
Running or cycling is not for everyone- but self care should be! I am so glad you found the thing you needed to be bale to let go, blow off steam, and decrease stress levels. I love that you are happier, I bet your students feel it too!
I agree with your earlier response to @jweening as well- it is a common trap we teachers find ourselves in. We hold ourselves to a really high standard, one that even in the best of times can be hard to sustain. But there is also a pride in it too. I have started trying to reflect back on each day- the good and bad – and if I can honestly say that I did the best i could that day (regardless of the outcomes) than that has to be enough until tomorrow when I get to try again.
I am sure many people reading this post will relate- I know I did! Looking forward to seeing you Saturday where can all enjoy each others company and have some laughs as well as push our learning forward- what better balance could one ask for?!