When I started my Cohort 21 action plan as a SEL & Wellbeing Support Specialist, I was thinking about something fundamental: How might we help young students build strong self-regulation skills by creating accessible, schoolwide supports that offer safe spaces and caring co-regulation beyond the classroom?

It’s a question that sits at the heart of what many schools stand for. The school’s mission emphasizes respect, good manners, trying one’s best, and creating environments where students feel safe, supported, and valued. But I recognized something important—these values can’t live only in mission statements. They need to be lived and practiced through systems that actually support students when they’re struggling. My journey toward building a schoolwide co-regulation system is a testament to how one educator’s commitment to her school’s values can ripple outward in ways that touch students, staff, and the entire school culture.

What I Did & Its Impact

My approach was thoughtful and practical. Rather than trying to overhaul everything at once, I developed a 3-tiered co-regulation system designed to meet students where they are:

• Tier 1: Universal supports available to all students—accessible calm spaces and regular check-ins that normalize emotion regulation for everyone
• Tier 2: Targeted supports for students showing early signs of dysregulation—small group strategies and additional adult connection
• Tier 3: Intensive, individualized support for students with significant regulation challenges—personalized plans with consistent check-in protocols and trusted adult relationships

What made this system work wasn’t just the framework itself, but how I implemented it. I developed individualized student support plans for students in Tier 3, creating concrete pathways for how different adults in the school could support each child. These weren’t one-size-fits-all documents—they reflected each student’s unique needs, triggers, and what actually helped them calm down and refocus.

I took a pilot approach, starting with select students rather than trying to transform the entire school overnight. This gave me space to learn, adjust, and gather evidence about what was working. It also meant I could build relationships carefully and make sure the system was actually serving students, not just existing on paper.

The impacts were real. Students began building connections with different teachers beyond their classroom—adults who knew them, who they could trust, and who were trained in how to support them. Instead of feeling like they had only one safe adult in the building, students developed a network of caring relationships. They also gained actual safe spaces for their emotions, places where dysregulation wasn’t seen as a problem to punish but as a signal that a student needed support. Perhaps most importantly, staff felt more prepared and supported. Teachers weren’t left wondering what to do when a student was struggling. They had frameworks, strategies, and the confidence that they weren’t alone in this work.

What I Learned

If there’s one insight I keep returning to, it’s this: letting go and leading is more powerful than doing everything yourself.

It would have been easier, in some ways, for me to become the co-regulation expert—the person everyone came to, the one who handled all the challenging students, the teacher who had all the answers. But that would have created a system dependent on one person’s heroics, not a sustainable, schoolwide culture shift. Instead, I focused on building capacity in others. I trained staff, shared resources, and created systems that other educators could own and implement. I led by empowering, not by controlling.

This mirrors something fundamental in my school’s values. The school talks about fostering growth mindset and resilience—and that’s not just for students. It’s for staff too. When I stepped back from doing everything and instead created conditions for others to grow into this work, I was modeling the very resilience and growth mindset the school hopes to cultivate. I was saying: I believe you can do this. I’ll support you. We’re doing this together.

It’s a different kind of leadership—one rooted in trust rather than control, in shared responsibility rather than individual burden.

Resources to Share

Throughout my journey, I curated resources that proved invaluable for understanding and implementing co-regulation systems. Here are my top resources for educators ready to take on this work:

Resource	Description & Link
Tiered Systems Framework	A foundational resource for understanding multi-tiered systems of support (MTSS). This framework helps schools structure universal, targeted, and intensive interventions. It’s the backbone of how I organized my co-regulation system and provides the conceptual clarity needed to move from scattered efforts to coordinated, schoolwide practice. Visit PBIS.org for comprehensive tiered systems guidance.
Co-Regulation Guides	Practical, actionable strategies for adults supporting student emotion regulation. These guides move beyond theory into real classroom moments—what to say, how to stay calm yourself, how to help a dysregulated student find their way back to learning. They’re designed for busy teachers and include quick reference cards. Search “co-regulation strategies for educators” or consult your school counselor for curated guides.
Trauma-Informed Schools Resources	Essential for understanding how trauma affects the nervous system and learning. These resources help educators recognize that behaviour is communication and that many struggling students need compassion, not consequences. The SAMHSA Trauma and Justice page and books like “What Happened to You?” by Bruce Perry provide accessible entry points.
Zones of Regulation	A structured, visual approach to emotion identification and self-regulation. Students learn to identify which “zone” they’re in (Blue, Green, Yellow, Red) and what strategies help them move toward the Green Zone (calm, focused, ready to learn). Zones of Regulation offers curriculum, visuals, and training—a complete system that many schools find transformative.
Second Step	A comprehensive social-emotional learning curriculum with an explicit co-regulation focus. Second Step provides lessons, videos, and classroom strategies that build emotional awareness and regulation skills across grade levels. It’s designed to be taught schoolwide, creating shared language and consistent practice.

These resources aren’t meant to be consumed all at once. I suggest starting with one or two that resonate most with your school’s current needs, building expertise there, and then expanding. The goal is to create a coherent system where frameworks, strategies, and language reinforce each other across the school.

Big Takeaway

My vision for schools committed to their values is sustainable, equitable support that doesn’t depend on individual heroics.

When schools rely on one passionate educator to “fix” student regulation, they create a system that works only as long as that person is there. More importantly, they miss the chance to build a culture where regulation support is everyone’s responsibility and everyone’s strength. My work is about creating conditions where every staff member feels equipped to support student regulation, where systems are in place so no one person carries the weight, and where students experience consistent, caring support across multiple relationships and spaces.

This kind of change is slower than heroic individual efforts. It requires patience, trust, and a willingness to share power. But it’s the only kind of change that lasts.

Lingering Questions

My work isn’t finished—and I’m honest about the challenges that remain:

1. How do we secure additional classroom support? The systems work better with more hands on deck. I continue to explore how to advocate for classroom support staff and paraprofessionals who can help implement co-regulation strategies consistently.
2. How do we communicate with teachers without adding to their workload? Sharing resources and updates is essential, but I’m mindful of teacher burnout. I’m still working on finding communication rhythms and formats that inform without overwhelming.
3. Can these strategies work in advisory for grades 7-8? My work has been primarily with younger students, but I’m curious whether the frameworks and approaches can translate to older students in different contexts. Adolescent brains need regulation support too, but the delivery might look different.

These aren’t failures or signs that the work isn’t ready. They’re the questions that drive continuous improvement, the kind of honest reflection that keeps systems from becoming stale or one-dimensional.

Final Thoughts

My Cohort 21 journey has been about more than building a co-regulation system. It’s been about rethinking what support means in a 21st-century school—one that recognizes students are whole people with nervous systems, emotions, and real struggles; one that understands regulation isn’t something students should just figure out on their own; one that believes educators deserve systems and training that help them show up as their best selves for students.

Cohort 21 asks schools to imagine learning differently. I’ve taken that invitation seriously. I’ve imagined a school where every student has adults who know them, where regulation skills are taught and practiced schoolwide, where struggling doesn’t mean being alone, and where the school’s stated values of respect, support, and growth mindset become visible in how adults actually respond when students are dysregulated.

That’s the work of rethinking education for the 21st century. It’s not flashy. It doesn’t show up in test scores. But it shows up in a student who, instead of shutting down, reaches out to a trusted adult. It shows up in a teacher who feels equipped and supported. It shows up in a school culture where vulnerability is met with compassion, and where the hard work of growing up is supported by a whole community.

That’s what I’m building. And that’s worth reflecting on.

The Challenge

How might we help young students build strong self-regulation skills by creating accessible, schoolwide supports that offer safe spaces and caring co-regulation beyond the classroom?

Working with children in Junior Kindergarten through Grade 3 means spending a great deal of time helping them understand their emotions, manage big feelings, and navigate their day in a healthy way. Teachers want to support students, but they are also responsible for instruction, planning, and maintaining classroom routines. When a child becomes dysregulated, the need for care can quickly pull teaching time and attention away from the rest of the class.

This challenge raises an important question: what if the responsibility for emotional support did not fall only on classroom teachers? And what if children could practice and strengthen regulation skills before they found themselves overwhelmed in the moment?

This is where a design thinking approach becomes incredibly powerful.

A Key Insight: Shifting From Reactive to Proactive Support

One of the most meaningful discoveries in this process is that children thrive when we teach regulation strategies before they need them. When students learn simple, effective tools early in the year, they begin to:

• Use strategies independently
• Feel more confident handling difficult emotions
• Depend less on adults for immediate crisis support

Proactive coaching gives students the opportunity to build emotional “muscles,” and it helps teachers regain valuable time for teaching and relationship-building.

A Hybrid Approach: Space, Schedule, and Partnership

Through this design thinking lens, a blended solution emerged that brings together three essential components.

A Flexible Regulation Space

A calm, multi-purpose wellness room offers a nurturing environment where students can breathe, reset, and co-regulate with a caring adult. It can also serve as a quiet space for focused work or testing. It doesn’t have to be perfect or permanent. Even starting as a pop-up room a few days a week can make a noticeable difference.

A Shift in Scheduling

Moving away from general classroom teaching creates space for focused well-being work, such as Grade 3 Zones of Regulation lessons and small-group coaching. This shift allows time for targeted skill-building so students can practice strategies before moments of dysregulation occur.

Strong Teacher Partnerships

This system is designed to ease the load on classroom teachers, not add to it. As students learn and use their regulation tools, teachers gain more uninterrupted teaching time and see more regulated, ready-to-learn students. With ongoing communication and shared language, the partnership becomes a cycle of support that benefits everyone.

A Roadmap for Meaningful, Sustainable Change

Phase 1: Laying the Foundation (December 2025 – June 2026)

Begin by securing a dedicated or temporary calm space. Then look at your current schedule and identify areas where you can shift some teaching time toward proactive skill-building. Create a simple “Regulation Toolkit” with three or four essential strategies connected to the Zones of Regulation. Finally, choose a small cohort of five to eight students to begin working with.

Phase 2: Piloting and Learning (June – September 2026)

Launch the calm space two or three days each week. Start teaching regulation tools in small groups and observe how students respond. Notice which tools they use naturally and how often they rely on them. Check in with classroom teachers to gather feedback and refine your approach.

Phase 3: Refining and Expanding (September 2026)

Review the data and insights from the pilot. Adjust your toolkit and routines based on what worked best. Expand to support more students or increase access to the calm room. Identify one or two teachers who are ready to collaborate more formally. Document your process so the system can continue to grow.

Three Elements That Make This Work

Family Connection

Your relationships with families are a major strength. Continue sharing simple, accessible tools with them. When students experience the same language and strategies at home and school, their ability to self-regulate becomes much stronger.

Sustainability and Shared Ownership

A healthy system cannot rely on one person. Work closely with the well-being coordinator and LS team so that multiple people understand the vision and can support or even lead parts of it. This ensures that the system remains strong even when staffing or schedules shift.

Balancing Prevention and Real-Time Support

Teaching skills proactively is essential, but students will still have moments when they need immediate help. The calm room gives them a supportive space to regain regulation in those moments. This balance creates a complete, compassionate well-being system.

A Simple Starting Point for This Week

Choose two or three possible spaces that could become a calm room. Arrange a short meeting with your well-being coordinator and coach to talk through the idea and your timeline. Draft a simple version of a new schedule that prioritizes skill-building. Then identify your first small student cohort. These small steps set the foundation for long-lasting change.

Seeing the Bigger Picture

You are not reinventing the wheel. You are building on what is already working and turning it into something more intentional, structured, and sustainable. Instead of relying on reactive interventions, you are creating a system that empowers children with lasting tools, supports teachers in meaningful ways, and strengthens the school community.

This is thoughtful, steady innovation. It grows with time. It respects the reality of school life. And it leads to students who are more confident, more independent, and more equipped to navigate their emotional world.

It is the kind of change that lasts long after any one person moves on. It is systems thinking in action, and it has the power to transform your school’s approach to well-being from the inside out.

Today I had one of those moments of clarity that makes everything click into place. You know the feeling—when you realize you’ve been asking the wrong question, and suddenly the right path becomes crystal clear.

What the Eisenhower Matrix Revealed

When I sorted my work into urgent versus important using the Eisenhower Matrix, I discovered something eye-opening: my time wasn’t being pulled in random directions. It was being pulled by the same need, over and over again.

Teachers requesting support for students with SEL needs. Students with IEPs requiring regulation support. Crisis moments during transitions.

At first, I saw these as interruptions, taking me away from the “important” work I wanted to do. But then I realized—these are the important work. The pattern was showing me exactly where I needed to focus.

Everything on my matrix was important. The difference wasn’t urgency—it was whether I was being reactive or proactive. Whether I was putting out fires or preventing them. Whether I was doing things to students or empowering them to do things for themselves.

My Focus for This Year: Individualized SEL Resources That Travel

Here’s what I’m committing to: building individualized resources for students that help them succeed throughout their entire day.

Not generic strategies. Not one-size-fits-all solutions. Personal toolkits that students co-create with me, own completely, and can use independently.

I want to shift from being the person everyone calls in crisis to being the person who helps students and teachers prevent those crises. I’ll still be there for intensive support—that’s my expertise and my passion. But I want to multiply my impact by helping students develop their own regulation skills.

The goal isn’t fewer crisis calls because I’m avoiding the work. It’s fewer crisis calls because students have grown and teachers have built stronger relationships with them.

Starting Small, Thinking Big

My first step is simple: help each student identify one area to focus on. Not everything that’s challenging them—just one thing that, if it improved, would make the biggest difference in their day.

Then we’ll build from there. Visual cues they can carry. Self-regulation strategies that they can practice. Tools that travel with them from classroom to classroom, helping them navigate transitions and tough moments with confidence.

Why This Matters to Me

I’ve realized that my real expertise isn’t just in crisis management—it’s in seeing what each student needs and helping them discover what works for them.

That’s not something you can put in a handbook or teach in a workshop. It’s relational work. It’s collaborative work. It’s the kind of work that changes lives.

Students with SEL needs don’t just need support—they need to feel empowered. They need to know they have tools, strategies, and skills they can count on. They need to experience success that they’ve helped create.

This year, I’m not just supporting students. I’m helping them support themselves. And that’s work worth my time, energy, and creative heart.

My Commitment

By our final face-to-face meeting, I want to see students using their personalized tools without prompting. I want to see teachers noticing fewer crisis moments and more student growth. Most importantly, I want to see students feeling proud of their own progress. This is my focus. This is my action plan. This is how I’m choosing to make a difference this year.