Day 8 of March Break. Despite a massive list of “to do’s” and goals for this much-needed mid-year respite, I’ve only just begun to scratch a few things off and am already feeling guilt about time misspent. Writing a blog post was certainly one thing on that list, in addition to renewing my Google L2 Certification, prepping my final units for the third term, and doing a video course on Adobe Premiere Pro. These are on top of the almost-too-many-to-list personal “to do’s” that have been waiting for months for me to tackle.
We keep reminding Cohort participants that there is no need to feel #cohortguilt, but then why do I feel it so constantly?
It’s not just #cohortguilt, either. I feel like I’m experiencing guilt in every area of my life these days, and I want to know: is this just par for the course now? Is this the new normal? Will I always now feel guilty if I send my daughter to daycare when I’m home from work? Will I ever have the chance to sit and read my book without feeling like I should be doing something more productive?
I’ve always valued my professional development so highly, so it’s really hard for me to admit that I don’t particularly want to spend my personal time to study for my recertification exam. I am not particularly keen on developing a rubric when it seems like everyone else is enjoying themselves on a tropical beach. I can’t bring myself to start that Premiere Pro course because I’m afraid it will end up being like every other online course I’ve started this year and didn’t finish.
Is this just how it’s going to be from now on?