Who is Really the Teacher?

I had a moment yesterday. One of those moments that makes you stop and think. One of those moments where a student says something to you and you question who is really the teacher.

At RNS, I teach and houseparent, but I also coach the Varsity Girls Basketball team. This is my third year coaching them and I can honestly say that they are my relief. Not only do I love basketball, but I love this bunch of girls. They are from Grade 8 – 12 (we have a very tall and talented Grade 8 girl this year) and come from different friend groups. You rarely see them hang out outside of the gym, but they are so connected and content when they are together. There is no drama, no fighting and a lot of dancing and laughing. They have the best attitude and sense of humor that they can easily turn a bad day into a good one pretty quick.

Last night, I spent 20 minutes of practice with one particular player. She is in Grade 10, it is her second year on the team, and she is one of the most talented players I have seen in a long time. She is quiet and calm and can shoot three pointers better than anyone I know. She can probably out-shoot any student here at school. Over the past couple of weeks she has been struggling. Her shots have not been falling and I have seen her grow increasingly frustrated with herself. She will never say anything to you, but you can read it on her face. She went from having games where she scores over 30 points, to games with only 2 points.

I decided that at practice last night I would spend some time with just her and see if we can figure out what is going on. I had her shoot three point shots and taught her a couple of new moves to get open. At first, she was throwing up bricks and nothing was working. I began to wonder if having her do this would really benefit her or not. I did not want her to feel more discouraged than she already did. I stopped her, grabbed the ball and just talked to her. I asked her whats going on and to just relax. It seemed like she was losing the fun of the game which is never something I want to see. She expressed that she was feeling frustrated with me – the coach. Holy moment! After talking to her, she was commenting on how in games, we are good at recognizing certain players while leaving out some. We have a lot of new players to the team and have been working hard with them, so we celebrate big time when they do something new or make a shot they have been working on. She felt like she was not getting the same feedback from us.

The worst part about it is… she’s right!

There are a few players on the team that I can relate this to. We have three players that we do not have to worry about. They are leaders on the team. They know what they need to do and they just do it. They make great shots, they make amazing passes, their defence is unbelievable and they rack up the rebounds and steals like it’s their job all while maintaining a positive outlook on the court. They get pushed around by the other teams and never get frustrated. They pick their heads up and keep playing. And what I realized in speaking with her is that I have become complacent in expecting this of them and that is not okay! I had a really good chat with this player. She called me out completely and I appreciated it. I apologized and told her she was right and that it is not fair for her to feel any less praise than anyone else on the team. I want her to improve and develop just as much as any other player on the team. Once our chat was over, she was knocking down three’s just like she used to.

This made me think of not only my basketball team, but my house and classroom as well. I am quick to praise a student for growth and for doing something new, but sometimes I forget the students who are constantly putting in the effort and time to do things right. I am so focused on helping the lower half improve, that I forget about the high-flying kids.  I forget how important and powerful something like praise is. Just a simple “great job”, or “nice work” can go such a long way. I know how much I appreciate it when someone gives me a little bit of praise!

I have so many students that do not get the praise that they deserve and that is completely on me. I need to make sure that I am focused on all of my students or kids or athletes the same. I need to make sure that they are all developing and becoming more than they were when I first met them. It is so simple but sometimes we struggle to tell students how we feel. Being able to express to them why they are important or why they are doing a good job is so powerful. 

• Why is praise for effort and/or work strategies useful?
  It directly affects students’ beliefs about why they succeed or fail.
• It leads to increased persistence, self-evaluation, intrinsic motivation and resilience when students encounter obstacles and setbacks.
• It leads to increased learning and higher achievement.
  Benefits for student performance
  Specifically, students whose teachers praise effort and work strategies rather than praising intelligence will:
• Apply more, not less, effort when material is difficult for them.
• Seek challenges.
• Set higher goals for themselves.
• Look at failures as opportunities to learn.
• Increase their efforts rather than withdraw effort and attention.
• Learn more.

http://www.apa.org/education/k12/using-praise.aspx