call it ironic, call it postmodern, I’m reflecting on reflection…

And here is my pledge: I WILL REFLECT CONSISTENTLY. NO REALLY, I WILL. This is not quite an Action Plan, I’m not confronting any particular aspect of my practice, I don’t yet have cause and effect. But hopefully it will both capture and inspire action. Quite simply, I will intuitively follow the path of reflection to whatever enlightenment I may stumble upon. This is part personal health, professional growth and placing the money by my mouth.

This is how it begins… This past week a few separate moments conspired to inspire me. It began on Monday when I gathered the Grade 9s and 10s together in the Theatre to introduce them to their Reflective Blogs. I spoke of the incredible privilege we have in our Grade 9/10 program (now called Discovery, and please follow the incredible learning: #RNSdiscovery) to be consistently given opportunities to step away from our learning, identify and examine the impactful experiences, and to begin answering some of the larger questions as we journey together towards the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Who am I as a learner? What is the nature of my success? My struggle? What are the strategies I’ve discovered? Am developing? etc…. I also spoke of the enormous responsibility that accompanies this privilege. I talked of how we, as teachers, can provide appropriate knowledge and understanding and endless tools as we prepare for the looming IB Program, but I also promised there is no better preparation for learning than knowing one’s self.  And this is low (and I’m not always above low), but I even went to the extent of shaming our poor, wonderful students; I reminded them that, within the community of our school, our Reflective Blogs are public spaces and, in the same way they abide by a code of conduct and appropriate behaviour in all parts of school life, they must maintain a very responsible approach to their blogs. Stealing directly from the great Justin Medved, I prepared a pledge that they personalized and adopted as their first post, ending with “I want the RNS community to see the very best of me as a genuine, respectful and committed person and student.” I spoke with passion and conviction, I was both animated and stern. I may even have welled up a little. And, upon reflection (see what I did there?) all of it is meaningless if I don’t walk the walk. Isn’t it?

On Tuesday, after putting the kids to bed and before the big baseball game (and my God, what a game), I retreated, as I normally do, to my workspace in the corner of our “basement” of a basement, where I spend much of my evenings bouncing between the ends of a Masters Degree and the endless loose ends of my job. The nights are turning cold here in New Brunswick and so I set a fire in our woodstove (of course, warmth is only a small part of this routine as I love to get lost in the romance of this reduced setting) and settled into an article by Merylann Schuttloffel titled The Principle of Coherence. Before long (page 2) I was distracted by her words, already thinking ahead to these words of this post. And so she exclaims: “Reflective practice acknowledges that central to teaching is a process of mindful decision making. The act of reflection provides teachers a vehicle to examine daily life within the classroom, to consider the various messages teachers send to students, and to respond with mindful choices.”

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My goodness! I so often attempt to describe for my students the exhilaration of truly becoming immersed in learning and thinking – how in these moments the world has a way of aligning itself, connecting and revealing truth. This is a very difficult concept to describe, let alone to convince them of. I think you have to live it know it. I find it terrifying that I was maybe 25 the first time I experienced Satori of this kind.

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In case I hadn’t already convinced myself after Monday’s speech, the world was now screaming at me to up my game.  Schuttloffel was challenging me in my dual role of teacher and school leader: “The concept of mindfulness infers that teaches critically ask ‘why?’ before during and after decision making. School leaders also require mindfulness during their decision making process.” And here I am, humbly positioned to think about what kind of teacher and leader I’d like to be. Really, in the same way I shamed my students, she leaves me with no choice: “The thinking about action is what distinguishes mindful school leaders from those that act merely as managers.” Later that night (or early the next day), Edwin Encarnacion, with his glorious homerun, seemed to present the endless possibility of this world/life.

My story of Thursday treads more sensitive waters. I found myself confronted with one of two major challenges I had made for myself upon embracing this new leadership role I’m in: I will not back down from conflict, I will respectfully maintain and never compromise my convictions. The details of Thursday’s conflict aren’t important, but I did find myself pushing back against my nature, demanding that no matter the issue/misunderstanding/disappointment, it should never be associated with intent or commitment. And suddenly, from a leadership perspective, the importance of consistently demonstrating the commitment I demand of our teachers had never been so poignant. It returned me to Schuttloffel’s concept of the reflective practice: “the interpretive level of reflection illuminates the messages sent or the meaning created between beliefs as isolated theory or ideals and daily practice. School leaders begin to see that beliefs seldom remain idle but most often communicate through symbolic signals that create meaning for those under their influence.” And so, depending on the kind of leader I hope to become, reflection is an essential – maybe THE essential – component.

Today, Friday, I re-ignite my reflective practice, mindful that this is the easy part. I’m over flowing with energy. I’ve been excited for days to spill these words, organize them on a page and make sense of my ideas. And from a practical standpoint, it doesn’t get any better than today. The Blue Jays began their next journey yesterday afternoon in convincing fashion, winning 10-1 and sending me into extended, peaceful sleep. It’s an extra-long weekend here, we’ve put the kids in daycare for the day (are we bad parents?) and while I in some ways I long for the joyful pitter-patter of tiny feet scrambling all around the floors above me, I am cherishing these hours of quiet in the basement. Furthermore, during the writing of this piece, my wife brought me a delicious spicy-sweet panini constructed from the remnants of last night’s pot-roast. Pure deliciousness. None of this reflects the general reality of my day to day life. The real challenge is maintaining this level of reflection, consistently creating meaning out of the many experiences that shape the preceding days. But, as I’ve just proven to myself, what choice do I have? In this moment at least, I emphatically embrace the challenge.