“Keep your mouth shut and your mind open”

Thank you to @jmedved for sending the tedtalk by Celeste Headlee to our Cohort 21 family.  I watched it this morning and it was very well timed as I listened to the Ted Radio Hour episode called Quiet on my way to work this morning. This stems from one of my action plan ideas where I am studying and trying to empathize with the Introverted learner (see the previous blog post).

I am also taking this as an opportunity for personal growth. I am someone who talks too much, listens to respond and spends very little time being “quiet”. I sometimes actually find quiet to be very loud. I think practice will help, practice with intention and practice with the objective that I have something to learn and work through.

Celeste’s first comment was when we are taught to “listen” we are given tips like: ask them interesting questions, look them in the eye etc… and her response to those ideas is “if you actually listening, you don’t need these tips” – SO TURE!  We need to authentically be engaged in this world.

I think the concept of engagement (which was my action plan last year… I am sensing a theme here) is potentially why we (as a society) are so upset with smartphones. We are worried that the world is falling apart because we are no longer engaging personally with others. I think naming the concern, helps to identify the stress.

How do we engage better with others? The 10 tips from celeste are:

1. Don’t multitask
2. Don’t pontificate
3. Ask open-ended questions (5 W’s and 1 H) and keep the questions simple. If you ask “were you scared?” they will just say “yes” if you ask “How did it feel?” it allows them the opportunity to own and describe how they really felt.
4. Go with the flow
5. If you don’t know, own it, say you don’t know.
6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs. Because it never is (such a key component of Empathy vs Sympathy)
7. Don’t repeat yourself
8. Stay out of the weeds (the details don’t actually matter)
9. LISTEN (with the intent to understand and not with the intent to reply)
10. Be brief

I also loved her follow up with “keep your mouth shut and your mind open, be prepared to be amazed, we have something to learn from everyone”

I have started a practice in my class to ensure (I realize I already forgot for Period 1) that we have some actual QUIET during every class. 5 minutes. Sounds easy – it is so tricky.

I printed off a large Q to post on the board to help the kids understand the signal for QUIET. I also asked for reflection from the students, who would like more opportunity for quiet in their day. Overwhelmingly, the grade 8 students said yes. It was such a great wake up call for me.

I am so excited for this path and grateful for the Cohort 21 family and experience. I would never have gone down this path without you! Big love Y’all.