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When you are working as part of a team you are most often working on something that isn’t entirely for yourself. If you are part of a team of educational professionals you are probably also working on something that is considered to be a part of your job description and it goes without saying that you will do it. In a strengths-based system you are doing it because you like it, you are good at it, and your team recognizes that you are the best person for the task. That you were chosen by your team for this and that they trust you to see it through should be thanks enough, but is it?
I spend a lot of time doing things that few others would want to do, and trust me, I relish the task. I love data, spreadsheets, and schedules; numbers, patterns, and organization are my jam. Do I wish to be thanked for what I am paid to do and for what I enjoy doing? Surprisingly, my answer is, “That depends.”
A few years ago my former administrators undertook a book study of The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Chapman and White (website / buy it). As a department head I thought it would be a good idea for me to read it too, and so I did. It proved useful to help me better understand how to thank each member of our science department in the way that was most meaningful to them personally.
At this time of year, in what I officially call the Doldrums of November, it might serve us all to be aware that the words “thank you” do not always have their intended effect. What is your colleague’s preferred language of appreciation? Pay attention to what they most often do for others and begin to thank them in that manner. What is your own language of appreciation? You can take a free language of love survey and get a fairly close approximation of this information. How can you show appreciation in an appropriate way? There are many ideas listed here. Happy appreciating!
This is so important, Leslie. I make a point of saying thank you (maybe sometimes too much) but it goes along way! In my past life as a waitress, I didn’t ever really care about getting a good tip. I just wanted people to say thank you. How do you like to be appreciated?
Hi Wendy! Thanks for taking the time to read and reply!
It might surprise you to know that I wasn’t really sure of my preferred way to receive appreciation even though I own the book and completed the survey contained within it. It was a few years ago and the book itself was buried in moving boxes until recently. It was when I took the languages of love survey and connected it to the fact that I often host parties, called Farooqi Fridays and cook or bake food for my colleagues that I realized my preferred language is “acts of service.” Based on the survey data my least preferred method is “words of praise.”
I’ve read the Five Love Languages and found that insightful – excited to know about appreciation. Being recognized is important to me so I try to thank people as much as possible. I’ve found though that some people appear uncomfortable when thanked. Going to take the survey and dive in.