{"id":188,"date":"2021-05-25T22:58:49","date_gmt":"2021-05-26T02:58:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/?p=188"},"modified":"2023-06-27T17:20:19","modified_gmt":"2023-06-27T21:20:19","slug":"no-answers-just-thoughts-and-searching-for-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/2021\/05\/25\/no-answers-just-thoughts-and-searching-for-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"No answers: Just Thoughts and Searching for Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve sat on this for awhile but decided on my run today that\u00a0this was worth sharing.\u00a0For starters, this is very much about\u00a0my experience\u00a0<\/strong>and what I see through my eyes. I cannot speak for a larger community, nor should I.<\/p>\n

I recently spoke to my school just about who I was and the origin of my name. For a long time growing up, I didn\u2019t like my name because I knew it gave bias. \u201cPeople will know I am Asian on my resume, my name gives it away!\u201d<\/em> is what I thought to myself, over and over again. My last name, my first name, why couldn\u2019t I of had a more \u201cnormal name\u201d. Every time a teacher called my name on an attendance sheet, I\u2019d hold my breath and hope they didn\u2019t say the name, \u201cMary\u201d.<\/p>\n

I mean, no one really cared about my name. In school Newsletters (as a student), in interviews, in e-mails, everyone reads my name as \u201cMary\u201d (and they still do now! I guarantee when I contact external partners or folks I am trying to schedule workshops for my students with, 1\/2 times I\u2019ll get a \u201cHi Mary\u201d in return). Do they really think I\u2019d spell my own name wrong on my resume? My emails? People also think there\u2019s something special about my name, like it has some deep Chinese history to it and I always get a \u201ctell me more\u201d! Guess what? It doesn\u2019t, it\u2019s pragmatic and to the point. My Chinese name is May: Jia-Mei\u2026which means Canadian Mei\u2026which if you think about it, May is the Canadian way to spell, \u201cMei\u201d\u2026so my name makes perfect sense if you ask me, but often it\u2019s followed-up with, \u201cthat\u2019s it?\u201d or a \u201cOh\u2026\u201d:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Named after the good old Canadian flag and the Mayflower<\/p><\/div>\n

I spoke to my school about implicit bias. My name is something I had a hard time with growing up, but have recently started actively correcting people about it. Some popular mistakes include people reading it over too quick and thinking it\u2019s Mary, to people thinking it\u2019s too short to be a full name and opting to call me \u201cMay Lu\u201d instead of \u201cMay\u201d. At first, when I was a child, I thought people were just bad at spelling and\/or bad readers. As I grew up, I realized because the mistake happened so often that no, it\u2019s because they don\u2019t recognize May and when they see the letters \u201cM\u201d and \u201ca\u201d, the assumption is Mary or that May is just too short, so May Lu must be it; implicit bias.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I thought back to a picture that I\u2019ve always looked at as odd. This is me at about 3 years old. What was I thinking about so seriously? What idea did this crayon in my hand spark? Did this little one think she\u2019d be here today?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Critical thinker from day one<\/p><\/div>\n

I am iconic in my school for strutting around with my favourite pink Yeti always sipping it in my period one and two classes. Every year, every conference, every meeting, it\u2019s always assumed I am drinking coffee or tea. Okay, in theory I am drinking tea, but it\u2019s not what you\u2019re (likely)<\/em> thinking. I am drinking:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Too all the aunties and uncles who will scold me for it, sorry!<\/p><\/div>\n

Yes, every morning, I make myself a cup of Hong Kong milk tea. It\u2019s not necessarily the healthiest option, but I mean, people put cream in their coffee and drink lattes, right? This is just\u00a0my thing<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span> BUT for some reason, it causes such a ruckus at meetings or when I go to conferences, and I really hate that it causes a big deal, that I often pretend I am drinking coffee (or like it\u2026I think it\u2019s gross).<\/p>\n

I get asked a lot, what are you drinking if not coffee or tea? You mean, YOU DON\u2019T DRINK COFFEE?!?! Wait, what\u2019s Hong Kong Milk Tea? How\u2019s it not tea? Or the ever popular, wait\u2013but what tea is Hong Kong milk tea? Oh, it\u2019s Orange Pekoe! We have that right here!<\/p>\n

\"BitmojiYes, it\u2019s Orange Pekoe tea, but do you also have the Evaporated Milk? Do you have a tea press? Do you have every other thing I would need to make this? No, you probably don\u2019t. You probably have 2% milk and skim milk\u2026soy, almond and coconut if you\u2019re trying to be conscious of allergies\u2026but I am pretty sure you probably don\u2019t have evaporated milk. I also sometimes add condense milk too, because you gotta give yourself a little treat here and there, right? Now, let\u2019s multiply this explanation and interaction another 100000 times because how many times do you go to meetings, conferences, talk with colleagues who drink Hong Kong milk tea on the regular and hate coffee? For me, I go to a lot of conferences and a lot of meetings, but not many milk tea lovers alike have been found for me. Maybe 1 every 500 colleagues on a good day. But to meet that one friend, I have to explain to the other 499 friends why I don\u2019t want to drink what they have so graciously prepared. If you\u2019re not exhausted from reading the numbers, imagine how tired you would be of saying the exact same explanation 499 times in a year.\"Bitmoji<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I am writing this because I am thinking a lot about conversations I have had lately with Lara Jensen and Lisa Bettencourt\u2026so much is happening in the DEIJ space right now. I am trying to learn a lot in this space and that can be seen as you trying to be an expert or gain more traction.\u00a0I am very much a learner in this space and not an<\/strong> expert. I am not trying to be an <\/strong>expert. <\/strong><\/span>I told my students, this is an uncomfortable space for me too, but I want to learn and am ready to learn with them. We are in this together and should be brave together.<\/em> But, as we pondered in discussions, how can we be effective teachers without learning more in the DEIJ space? What is meaningful pedagogy without acknowledging the individuals in our classroom?<\/p>\n

For myself, I had to learn a lot about the \u201cWestern culture\u201d when I began pursuing a career in education. I learned about Bieber, the Kardashians, Schmitt\u2019s Creek, the Beatles, and anything to make me \u201cin the know\u201d with staff and students. If I went to a staff meeting and said I had no idea who the Beatles were, you know someone would say, \u201cYOU DON\u2019T KNOW WHO THE BEATLES ARE?!\u201d. I had to learn about hockey, golf and camping. Not that I had much experience with any because of my upbringing, but you want to feel \u201capart\u201d of social conversations, and think about what those conversations are about in our schools. I had to learn the basics of what those things were. I had to learn about basic Western pop culture from Disney classics, to \u201cgo-to favourites\u201d like Gilmore Girls, Friends, and That \u201970s Show.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

I had no idea the popularity of this photo until after university<\/p><\/div>\n

I didn\u2019t grow up watching this stuff. I took the time and effort to learn.<\/strong><\/span> I learned about these shows to not seem like \u201cTOO MUCH\u201d of an outsider. I already knew I was because my parents never took me camping (or know how to camp), I wasn\u2019t allowed TV time as a child, I didn\u2019t like golf, I don\u2019t drink coffee, and when I finally learned how to hack the systems at home (sorry mom and dad),\u00a0<\/em>my interests fell to anime, manga, Jdramas, Kdramas, and overall, Asian pop culture. I\u2019ve learned this to be really true of some our students too who are seeking adult mentors with similar interests. Or, are so uncomfortable when their teachers talk about these epic camping trips\u2026I get it. It\u2019s no fault to the teacher. They should share their interests because it humanizes the teacher, but when I was a student, I felt so out of place in those moments because I felt like a weirdo. How could I have nothing in common with any of my teachers?! What\u2019s wrong with me?!<\/em> <\/span>If it weren\u2019t for my partner, I probably would have never camped ever because it\u2019s just not how I was raised. It\u2019s not in my psychology, but I made an effort to learn more about these activities; we can all learn. I think back to high school me, just wondering: what if my teachers learned about my interests? What would that mean to me? Everything.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"two<\/p>\n

It was hard to reconcile that I just grew up differently.<\/span> Culturally, I was different and coming to terms with it is something many of our students have to do in our classes. I am an awkward space where generationally, I don\u2019t really fit in with my parents. Because of the values that were enforced in our household, it almost felt like I had a generational gap with some of my peers at school. Culturally, I don\u2019t really fit in fully with the Chinese culture or the Canadian culture. I am very much a happy mix and blend of Canadian and Chinese; hence, people have coined it \u201cCanadian born Chinese\u201d. This is an awkward space both generation and culture wise, but this is me. I can\u2019t change it, I can\u2019t do it differently, so I learned to accept and embrace me!<\/p>\n

\"me\"<\/p>\n

When I was in high school, I wondered if part of \u201cgrowing up\u201d and \u201cbecoming an adult\u201d was switching your interests, because none of my teachers knew anything about Asian pop culture. I always questioned if I\u2019d stop reading manga, listening to Kpop, Jpop or watching dramas\/anime because that\u2019s what \u201cgrowing up meant\u201d. For years in teaching, I pretended I only watched English Netflix shows to avoid being the odd one out. What are our students feeling? This also doesn\u2019t cover every student in our classroom. We need to learn more about all. Learning is for all.<\/strong><\/span> Are you a fellow netizen?<\/p>\n

Pop culture references that have come up to me lately\u2026food for thought\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I have one student pursuing a K-pop stardom dream. But, there are many layers with their identity and how training camp runs, how the media works with this, etc. Layers of education and age, etc. Do you know the process of training camp? How grueling it can be? Yet, why is is so rewarding to debut? What does it mean \u201cto debut\u201d\u2026I promise, it\u2019s not the same as \u201cdebuting\u201d in Hollywood.\u00a0 What\u2019s a Blink (Blackpink fan)? Their music has been featured in many American Netflix films this year but how many of you know that? Why are there so many BTS references right now, do you know who they are? What in the world was that BTS\/McDonald\u2019s campaign? It was in every McDonald\u2019s in Canada for at least a month! To protect their own identity, I don\u2019t want to dwell too much more, but have you ever wondered about the Korean entertainment culture? How it\u2019s different the Hollywood culture in North America? What interests do your students have here?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Sailor Neptune and Uranus. This art is from the new reboot!<\/p><\/div>\n

Netflix is releasing a Sailor Moon movie in June. This is going to be really really big. Why? One, this phenomenon is coming to a Canadian\/American platform!! When this was originally written in the 90s, Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus were written in the original manga AND the Japanese anime to be lesbian lovers. However, the publishing company in the USA at the time thought that LGBTQ relationships were not acceptable for younger audiences and this was a show said to be geared towards \u201cyoung girls.\u201d So then, they decided to make them cousins.<\/em> Yes, they changed the\u00a0entire storyline<\/strong> and took out a part of the original story to hide an entire relationship. They also didn\u2019t translate an entire arc of the story because there were too many scenes of romance between these too sailor scouts! (Update:\u00a0<\/em>the publishing company apologized in 2019 and acknowledged them as official partners), but childhood me\u2026was outraged until about 2019\u2026? Is it wrong to feel like it\u2019s not fair? Is that even reasonable? The movie being released this year in June is about the Dream Arc which is right after the Arc Uranus and Neptune were introduced, but what\u2019s more important is what is offered on Netflix will be an English TRANSLATION (The OG Japanese with subtitles will be there too!). They will not alter the story, the sequence of events, etc. from the original animation.<\/p>\n

How many of you know how the hockey game works? Do you know how to keep score in golf? Have you gone camping? How many of you know how to play Mahjong? In the movie, \u201cCrazy Rich Asians\u201d, the ending Mahjong scene is one of the most powerful moments of the movie.<\/em> With what Rachel speaks about Nick\u2019s happiness and the meaning when she reveals her final hand to Nick\u2019s mom, it\u2019s metaphor upon metaphor upon metaphor. However, the scene is meaningless if you don\u2019t understand how the game works.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Nick\u2019s mom thought she won it all\u2026<\/p><\/div>\n

I put these examples up there because they\u2019ve all been in recent discussions in my class. But, giving a space where I talk about pop culture outside the \u201cstandardized norm\u201d has helped other students in my class feel that they can share aspects of their pop culture that they\u2019re interested in. I am learning more about my students, I am learning more as a person\u2026and again, I am no expert, I am still just learning.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"i<\/p>\n

I will admit as a student, I never felt seen, I never felt relevant and I never felt like my interests mattered. Running was so epic for me because I finally felt like I had \u201ccommon ground\u201d with the social constructs around me (I have now learned it is so much more too!). Do teachers actually like dramas? Do they like anime? Do they read manga? Do they check the Spring and Fall previews? I am well into my career and adulthood, and yes yes yes to all! I still read manga, I still watch dramas\u2026and if anyone wants to chat, I am currently watching:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Law School (new episodes on Weds\/Thurs on Netflix)<\/li>\n
  • Mine (new episodes on Sat\/Sun on Netflix)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    But believe me, I watch lots of Kdramas, Jdramas, anime, read lots of manga, and avid fans of certain writers, artists, actors, actresses, etc. I am the same way some are about Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga but my interests are just \u201cnot the same\u201d. I promise there are iconic Asian pop stars like the Beatles. Do you have a colleague or colleagues you get to talk about your interests with? Camping? Golf? When will I get one too? High school me asked that every day: if I become a teacher, will I have a colleague to talk about Asian pop culture with?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    I recently watched a video where a speaker asked the question \u201cDiversity from what? Inclusion from what? We are diversifying from the\u00a0<\/em>white male standard<\/em>, <\/em><\/strong>we are including into the\u00a0white male standard<\/strong><\/em>. Why is the white male standard our baseline?\u201d <\/strong><\/span>Good question. Thought I\u2019d share\u2026because I was like woah, I don\u2019t know. What is the message we are portraying to students? What are we modelling? We have to role model openness and empathy to our students. We have to show students what it means to be welcoming and a learner in this space (and that it is okay to be uncomfortable). I am trying to learn as a means to create a space where everyone<\/span> feels like they belong<\/em> and we have to look at our own implicit bias to get there. We have to examine ourselves, our practices, our schools and so much more to get there. No one is immune to it and we all have to be reflective and critical learners in this space for our pedagogy to be effective and authentic. Thank you for reading my story as I know it was a bit of a long one, but I think this is just the one of many many learnings about each other that will help us grow :)!<\/p>\n

    \"Bitmoji<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I\u2019ve sat on this for awhile but decided on my run today that\u00a0this was worth sharing.\u00a0For starters, this is very much about\u00a0my experience\u00a0and what I see through my eyes. I cannot speak for a larger community, nor should I. I recently spoke to my school just about who I was and the origin of my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":303,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-approaches-to-teaching-learning","category-classroom-reflections","post-preview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/303"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=188"}],"version-history":[{"count":75,"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":272,"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188\/revisions\/272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cohort21.com\/maylu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}